When caring for a loved one with cancer, don’t ignore your own mental health

Informal caregivers such as spouses, partners, family, and friends play an important role in the cancer journey. At the UAB O’Neal Comprehensive Cancer Center, we actually think of them as “co-survivors”.

It may seem taboo or selfish to check in with yourself when it’s your loved one who has cancer. However, caregivers are just as likely to face mental health issues. If you notice any such signs, we have resources that can help. Some of these are discussed below, with input from Sylvia Huang, Psy.D., director of the UAB Psycho-Oncology Program.

Caregiving

First, it’s important to acknowledge the responsibilities you take on when a loved one is diagnosed with cancer. You may think, “This is just what a spouse/friend/family member does.” Still, you will be better at helping your loved one if you are honest with yourself about the effects these new responsibilities can have on your mental health.

Caregivers provide a wide range of assistance, such as:

• Emotional support
• Physical assistance
• Medical management (sorting pills, helping someone use a device)
• Coordinating care/travel
• Home support (practical things like cooking, cleaning, and paying bills)

Taking on more responsibilities over time can lead to distress and burnout. Common symptoms include difficulty going to work, withdrawing from social relationships, declining health, and trouble sleeping.

Acute stress events

Caregivers may accumulate stress or have more sudden, acute stress related to specific events. Here are some examples:

• The diagnosis of a loved one can be difficult to process because of the shock, confusion, or sadness. You may need help making sense of it.
• Treatment decisions are often stressful, because you may take some responsibility for helping your loved one make lifechanging decisions. Information overload is often part of this stress event.
• Waiting for results can trigger grief or sadness based on something that hasn’t happened yet, and your mind may drift to worst-case scenarios. You shouldn’t feel like you need to fight these thoughts. We can help.
• Setbacks such as difficult prognoses are always discouraging, and you may need help gaining insight on preparing yourself for whatever is next.
• Symptoms and side effects can be difficult to see and help manage, especially if you feel like there’s nothing you can do or they emerge suddenly.

Self-assessment tools

Whether your distress is cumulative or acute, the first step in coping is to check in with yourself. Linked below are two convenient online assessments that we often use here at UAB Medicine:

• Caregiver Distress Thermometer
  If your distress level is over four, it’s a good idea to send your assessment results (or communicate them) to your nurse navigator, who can point you to relevant resources among our many supportive care programs.
• Depression Screener

If your total score is four or more, talk to your doctor or nurse navigator about how you are feeling and share your results.

Cancer care includes you

If either test shows elevated distress – or if your scores indicate that you are becoming more stressed over time – don’t hesitate to self-refer to UAB Psycho-Oncology or talk to a counselor of your choosing. Doing so can help you develop strategies to keep stress from piling up.

Caregivers should clearly communicate their own needs to their loved ones, because they need you at your best. Sometimes this means involving other people or reaching out for resources through your nurse navigator.

Remember, we are here to help during and after treatment. And if you’ve lost a loved one and need help dealing with grief, we’re here for that, too.

UAB patients with cancer and their loved ones can click here to contact the UAB Psycho-Oncology Program, or click here to learn more.